They called the paramedics and we rushed over to see how she wasWow, what an evening, I was just finishing up some of my content when my beloved tells me and lets me know that my daughter had fainted at a friends house. They called the paramedics and we rushed over to see how she was. Thankfully she is in the care of professionals and we wait to hear, in fact, right now I have just dropped off my beloved and I’m typing up this blog waiting for the call to pick them up. That was unexpected tonight. Of course, I was worried but at the same time, I remained calm in the eye of the storm. I have got much better at this since I have been looking to respond to events rather than react. I am focussing on what I can control and what I can’t control. In this instance could I control whether my daughter fainted or not? No. Can I control what results will come back? Of course not, so this is practice around staying present and in the moment and dealing with the moments as they arise. I just love that, that in the centre of a crisis you can remain calm and think clearly, but I will let you into a secret I wasn’t always like this. Even now waiting for the results I’m calm and whatever the results come back I will also deal with them in the moment. I was essentially living a life of fear every second of the day wondering what will happen nextMany of you will know my story and that I suffered from depression, and one of the things that sparked it off was high levels of anxiety. I was essentially living a life of fear every second of the day wondering what will happen next. This was so debilitating that it caused me to feel like I wanted to give up. So how did I start to deal with all these problems, well it’s to expect the unexpected of course. To focus on the present moment and not expecting what you expect. The reason for this is things rarely work out the way you want them too, and that means you have to be ready for change. I am now looking at things and expecting things to go wrong and to not work out. I do not have any expectations around the things I do, I will do my best but that’s it, I’m recognising that I have no control over the outcomes. Yes, I have done my best and minimised any downside but that’s as much as I can do. Now life is full of risks, and what I have come to realise is that life is always going to throw a curveballJust like when I interviewed Simon Squibb on the podcast a self-made millionaire we have to be able to take risks. Now life is full of risks, and what I have come to realise is that life is always going to throw a curveball and you have to be able to change and adapt at that moment in the moment, feel that uncomfortable emotion and then re-frame this to say, okay this is a problem now it’s my job to try and figure this out. In that moment you are not having anxiety because you are in action mode. If you are expecting the unexpected then you anticipate that things could go wrong and you’re ready to take action should this arise. The opposite is true when you expect things to turn out perfectly and again they rarely do. I don’t consider there is perfection things can always be better, this is another realisation that kept me stuck for a long time. It doesn’t matter where in your life you are, you are going to have challenges thrown at youThe main thing here is to approach everything from a sense of adventure, know that in the failure there is an opportunity to learn and grow. It doesn’t matter where in your life you are, you are going to have challenges thrown at you and it’s your job to rise to the challenge, whether you succeed or not, is neither here nor there, what matters is that you try and solve the problem so you can grow and become better. You adapt and pivot so you get used to changing and getting used to things not working out because throughout all that you are going to get stronger and more skilful at solving bigger problems. Guess what as you go up the problem ladder and problems become harder you become even more skilful and if you can solve even bigger problems, then your worth is only going to improve.
So don’t run away from your problems, expect the unexpected do your best to solve the problem and look at it as training because if you’ve got a big hairy scary goal you want to accomplish, this is the best training you can ever have! I hope this has inspired you, if so please comment and share it with as many people as possible because together we can inspire the entire planet. Until next time stay inspired #IN
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September 2021
AuthorJoe Noya, founder of JN Coachingtechnologies. Categories |