Emotions play a big part in our lives; after all we are human and having emotions makes us who we are. This is why being aware of your emotions and being able to let them pass if they do not serve us, is a massive part of making sure we stay on track to our destiny. Recently, I was in a situation where I had feelings of frustration; I knew deep down that I had no control over the situation and that I could only influence, and with this in mind I had to let the go of the prospect that the outcome of that situation may not be as I intended it to be. The most important aspect was to let those feelings pass in a way that help me develop. In this instance I realised that I needed to respond rather than react. Of course I am not perfect and in some instances I do react and then realise, ‘hang on, is this serving my larger destiny or goal?” What is the impact of my reactions? So for many years I have worked and am working on that response gap. The gap is from the time you get the feeling and acknowledge it without reaction. You have probably seen reaction happen in many situations, perhaps you were at school and someone said something and someone has reacted and said something back, or lashed out physically as a reaction to what was said. These reactions can happen in any situation, at home, at work and even when we are out and about with the intention of having a good time. I even just had this reaction this morning where my daughter jammed our shredder, and I felt my frustration build up and reacted, which then lead my daughter to react! After calming down, I apologised to my daughter realising that the reaction was not leading me to my higher purpose or destiny; realising my behaviour I made sure that my daughter new I was sorry without any excuse. So even now I still find this challenging, but it is a habit which I continue to develop throughout my life on this planet! Every day we have the opportunity to respond rather than react; if we react this can damage where we want to be and the relationships we cherish most, be that relationships with our partners, children, friends or colleagues the list is endless. So the challenge for us all is, can we expand our awareness and respond to our feelings rather than react? I know this is a hard one as we are human, and sometimes we just do react (like my example I just talked about!); when we do this they key is to recognise that behaviour and take action to make good what our reactive behaviour created i.e. do something to acknowledge and rectify the situation! (In my case it was an unreserved apology!) Do you remember my blog about how your behaviour impacts your success? You can read it here. Responding instead of reacting is difficult because of what I call our ego! Our ego can stop us from making good as we feel we can’t back down and or we have to be right. Remember your ego is not you, it is a thought and a feeling and if your ego is stopping you from making good a relationship that you cherish or value then this is impacting your destiny. Every time we react we need to think of the outcome and respond in a way that serves us so we can continue on our path to our destiny. So here are some ways in which we can RESPOND rather than REACT -
Keep working on your response time and you will soon see how your life will start to change and serve you in a way you never thought possible. This will not happen over night and it takes dedication. You will soon know whether you are reacting or responding because others will respond you in a way that gives you feedback, and by listening to your intuition or your inner voice you will know whether or not this serves your destiny. Where you are now is because of the decisions you have made either through reaction or responses. I hope this had been useful and let me know how you are getting on at responding. Comment below as to how you are responding after reading this and let’s start a whole process of improving together. How are your responses leading you to your destiny? Let’s comment below and discuss and engage. Let’s get our community buzzing!! Don’t forget you can still sign up for my news letter here. Until next time “ Be Awesome Out There “ #BAOT
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September 2021
AuthorJoe Noya, founder of JN Coachingtechnologies. Categories |