Your Key To Success!
Key To Success.
Many of us coaches use a model called GROW. It is a way that coaches can ask constructive and challenging questions and how well this model is used is dependant on the coach you will use.
Now you can coach yourself, however this can be quite limiting as you are not aware of certain behaviours or thinking patterns that you may be displaying that will always be picked up by a good coach. A coach may use this model as a guide, however I myself do not stick to this rigidly and I use this to explore where my client is potentially suffering from those psychological blocks that are stopping them from moving forward. I will also use certain tools in certain situations depending on my clients learning styles and their current view of what they are experiencing. I assess where they are and then ask the appropriate questions to start to move them forward in a way that is challenging and at the same time empowering. Giving them back the control of their own lives rather than them accepting they cannot do anything about their current situation.
As usual and in my own coaching way I will explain what this coaching model is and how you can use this personally with or without a coach. I am positive that you will get good results on your own, however with the help of a great coach your results will be accelerated; as a coach who is interested in you will always provide the support you need when those challenges arise. Believe me they will, and that is when a coach is invaluable to help you through these times so you follow through to make sure you get to where you want to be and not end up back where you started in those old thinking patters! These old thinking patterns can emerge in the form of cynicism, lack of confidence and good old lack of time. This is just to name a few, remember limiting language creates a limiting life!
So here is the GROW model.
G – This stands for GOAL. This does need to be clarified so it may be something like I want to gain a promotion in six months or I just want to be happy. Whatever it is a coach will help you define the goal for the session or sessions ahead and will make sure you stay on track. It is important to be specific, so say for example you want to be happy, you would need to ask “Okay what specifically makes me unhappy and if I changed that I would be happier. This is much more specific and I am now sure you are starting to see how important this starting point is.
If you are coaching yourself make sure that your goal is SMART! If you are unsure what this is then please refer to my goal setting page on my website which will explain click here. It is important that you understand this part as without a specific goal you will not know what you want to achieve and more importantly you will not be able to identify when you have reached your goal. Lastly, if you do achieve the goal what is next for you? Do you sit back and wait again until you come to a point you need to move on or do you define your purpose! What do you want? Be passionate and remember we are “food for worms”; this is a great quote from that inspirational film the Dead Poets Society. I recommend anyone who has not seen it to watch this film! Go on do it now!
So write down your goal and commit this to memory, your goal should be inspiring. For example if you want to loose weight and your goal is simply that “I want to loose weight” That is not very inspiring is it! So to make is inspiring you might want to add “I want to loose stones/lbs by x date, this is because I want to feel energetic and look, feel fantastic. I want to be able to fit into that clothing I have always wanted and when people look at me I want to be proud and be amazing every day” How about that! You can make your own. One test I use with my clients is that if you read your goal in the morning would it make you jump out of bed early in the morning and make you feel you could achieve anything! If not then you need to re-word your goal so it gives you that exact feeling, otherwise it is just another promise to yourself that you will not commit to and you will feel disappointed, that results in not moving on and those poor actions that keep you where you are. (This is why you are reading this remember!) You see it is all about the psychology, once you get this right then everything else fits into place.
R – This stands for REALITY. So what is your reality, where are you currently? How are things, are they great or really bad? Now you need to be realistic here, do not make it worse than it is and on the other hand do not be over optimistic. You need to see it how it is! Once you do this you can start to see where you really are so you can move forward.
For example if you have a large debt and cannot see a way out. You can either make it worse than it is by saying this is unbelievable bad I will never get out of this debt; or you will say “there is no debt, there is no debt”, this is totally unrealistic. So the ground you are looking for is “Yes I have this debt, there are other people in world worse off then me, but I can start to look at this to see what I can start to do to make this more manageable. It may be the case that you have not looked in detail at your debt or looked at your outgoings in detail because you have not wanted to face it. All I am asking you to do here is to be realistic about your current reality. This is again really important especially if you are coaching yourself as you are in the situation and may find it difficult to find some perspective. This is where a great coach can really support you in providing that perspective.
As a coach and if you are self coaching it is very important to assess your current situation that will empower you, or me as a coach empower my client to be able to assess there own reality without reacting on a highly emotional level, this is where we want the frontal lobe part of our brain to start working so we can start to make a plan. (If you are unsure what this is then go to my page called “The Critical Mind” click here) Knowing and accepting your reality is vital, remember whatever your current reality is it will change so it is important to recognise that you can do something about it if you choose to!
O – This stands for options. You need to generate as many options as possible to see passed the barrier that is currently holding you back. Some of my clients find this very difficult as they are very emotionally involved with the current challenge or barrier. One way to deal with this is to set whatever emotion or current block is aside. Take for instance the debt scenario; in your mind you may be thinking this is impossible to resolve, so in order to get passed this you need to park that thinking and start to think. Okay if I did not think this was impossible and thought it was possible what could I do now? You are suspending your current beliefs to be able to examine new possibilities. With new possibilities comes the potential, that yes I could do something if I just allowed myself the opportunity to think and try something new rather than staying where I am. Of course a coach can really assist with this and can provide that space that you yourself may deny because of your underlying beliefs or values you may hold. You may have been holding onto these beliefs and values for a very long time or you may not even be aware of them. A coach can make you aware of them so that you can move forward. You are where you are because of the choices you have made and those choices stem from your values and beliefs!
As a coach I move between these areas of GROW depending where my clients wish explore, as this is a time for self awareness and development. If you have never done this before you may feel to be a bit strange. Trust me this is one of the best things you can do to really change the way you view your current situation. You have the power to choose, to either stay where you are to progress and change to something that really gets you going and excites you.
W – This means Way Forward. This is where you review all the options that you have generated and pick a few of those options which you think are achievable and will start to move your forward. Now without a coach you may go for options that may well be within your comfort zone and therefore the progress you make may be slower than if you used a coach, as I said you will be guided by your present values, beliefs and even the type of language you are using. As a coach I do get my clients to examine them as I find this really does accelerate the results they get.
I am not saying you won’t get those massive results it is just human nature to choose something that seems slightly less uncomfortable, that is just the way we are made. We tend to move away from things that we perceive as challenging or as some people say are outside their comfort zone. This is where a coach is invaluable and with regular coaching sessions you can really start to accelerate those results; old habits die hard, but you can definitely do it if you are committed.
Right it is time for you to make your plan. I hope you have now have chosen a few actions and have also put a date beside them as to when you are going to carry them out. Remember SMART and as I said previously, read my goal setting page which explains this in more detail.
One more thing; I would also record what results your actions produced so you can start to record the progress you are making from when you first started. When you see progress this will encourage you to take more actions and then you will have momentum to carry on. You will be amazed at what you can actually achieve!
I would recommend you getting your own coach, whether you wish to contact me or choose another coach I would highly recommend it. Remember you can change your current reality and choose what you want to do, you just have to commit, find passion in what you do and have a tenacity to see it through.
So live with passion and I hope you can use this to get the results you want. Please feel free to share this with anyone you think will benefit; live your life to the fullest and be happy doing what you love!
Many of us coaches use a model called GROW. It is a way that coaches can ask constructive and challenging questions and how well this model is used is dependant on the coach you will use.
Now you can coach yourself, however this can be quite limiting as you are not aware of certain behaviours or thinking patterns that you may be displaying that will always be picked up by a good coach. A coach may use this model as a guide, however I myself do not stick to this rigidly and I use this to explore where my client is potentially suffering from those psychological blocks that are stopping them from moving forward. I will also use certain tools in certain situations depending on my clients learning styles and their current view of what they are experiencing. I assess where they are and then ask the appropriate questions to start to move them forward in a way that is challenging and at the same time empowering. Giving them back the control of their own lives rather than them accepting they cannot do anything about their current situation.
As usual and in my own coaching way I will explain what this coaching model is and how you can use this personally with or without a coach. I am positive that you will get good results on your own, however with the help of a great coach your results will be accelerated; as a coach who is interested in you will always provide the support you need when those challenges arise. Believe me they will, and that is when a coach is invaluable to help you through these times so you follow through to make sure you get to where you want to be and not end up back where you started in those old thinking patters! These old thinking patterns can emerge in the form of cynicism, lack of confidence and good old lack of time. This is just to name a few, remember limiting language creates a limiting life!
So here is the GROW model.
G – This stands for GOAL. This does need to be clarified so it may be something like I want to gain a promotion in six months or I just want to be happy. Whatever it is a coach will help you define the goal for the session or sessions ahead and will make sure you stay on track. It is important to be specific, so say for example you want to be happy, you would need to ask “Okay what specifically makes me unhappy and if I changed that I would be happier. This is much more specific and I am now sure you are starting to see how important this starting point is.
If you are coaching yourself make sure that your goal is SMART! If you are unsure what this is then please refer to my goal setting page on my website which will explain click here. It is important that you understand this part as without a specific goal you will not know what you want to achieve and more importantly you will not be able to identify when you have reached your goal. Lastly, if you do achieve the goal what is next for you? Do you sit back and wait again until you come to a point you need to move on or do you define your purpose! What do you want? Be passionate and remember we are “food for worms”; this is a great quote from that inspirational film the Dead Poets Society. I recommend anyone who has not seen it to watch this film! Go on do it now!
So write down your goal and commit this to memory, your goal should be inspiring. For example if you want to loose weight and your goal is simply that “I want to loose weight” That is not very inspiring is it! So to make is inspiring you might want to add “I want to loose stones/lbs by x date, this is because I want to feel energetic and look, feel fantastic. I want to be able to fit into that clothing I have always wanted and when people look at me I want to be proud and be amazing every day” How about that! You can make your own. One test I use with my clients is that if you read your goal in the morning would it make you jump out of bed early in the morning and make you feel you could achieve anything! If not then you need to re-word your goal so it gives you that exact feeling, otherwise it is just another promise to yourself that you will not commit to and you will feel disappointed, that results in not moving on and those poor actions that keep you where you are. (This is why you are reading this remember!) You see it is all about the psychology, once you get this right then everything else fits into place.
R – This stands for REALITY. So what is your reality, where are you currently? How are things, are they great or really bad? Now you need to be realistic here, do not make it worse than it is and on the other hand do not be over optimistic. You need to see it how it is! Once you do this you can start to see where you really are so you can move forward.
For example if you have a large debt and cannot see a way out. You can either make it worse than it is by saying this is unbelievable bad I will never get out of this debt; or you will say “there is no debt, there is no debt”, this is totally unrealistic. So the ground you are looking for is “Yes I have this debt, there are other people in world worse off then me, but I can start to look at this to see what I can start to do to make this more manageable. It may be the case that you have not looked in detail at your debt or looked at your outgoings in detail because you have not wanted to face it. All I am asking you to do here is to be realistic about your current reality. This is again really important especially if you are coaching yourself as you are in the situation and may find it difficult to find some perspective. This is where a great coach can really support you in providing that perspective.
As a coach and if you are self coaching it is very important to assess your current situation that will empower you, or me as a coach empower my client to be able to assess there own reality without reacting on a highly emotional level, this is where we want the frontal lobe part of our brain to start working so we can start to make a plan. (If you are unsure what this is then go to my page called “The Critical Mind” click here) Knowing and accepting your reality is vital, remember whatever your current reality is it will change so it is important to recognise that you can do something about it if you choose to!
O – This stands for options. You need to generate as many options as possible to see passed the barrier that is currently holding you back. Some of my clients find this very difficult as they are very emotionally involved with the current challenge or barrier. One way to deal with this is to set whatever emotion or current block is aside. Take for instance the debt scenario; in your mind you may be thinking this is impossible to resolve, so in order to get passed this you need to park that thinking and start to think. Okay if I did not think this was impossible and thought it was possible what could I do now? You are suspending your current beliefs to be able to examine new possibilities. With new possibilities comes the potential, that yes I could do something if I just allowed myself the opportunity to think and try something new rather than staying where I am. Of course a coach can really assist with this and can provide that space that you yourself may deny because of your underlying beliefs or values you may hold. You may have been holding onto these beliefs and values for a very long time or you may not even be aware of them. A coach can make you aware of them so that you can move forward. You are where you are because of the choices you have made and those choices stem from your values and beliefs!
As a coach I move between these areas of GROW depending where my clients wish explore, as this is a time for self awareness and development. If you have never done this before you may feel to be a bit strange. Trust me this is one of the best things you can do to really change the way you view your current situation. You have the power to choose, to either stay where you are to progress and change to something that really gets you going and excites you.
W – This means Way Forward. This is where you review all the options that you have generated and pick a few of those options which you think are achievable and will start to move your forward. Now without a coach you may go for options that may well be within your comfort zone and therefore the progress you make may be slower than if you used a coach, as I said you will be guided by your present values, beliefs and even the type of language you are using. As a coach I do get my clients to examine them as I find this really does accelerate the results they get.
I am not saying you won’t get those massive results it is just human nature to choose something that seems slightly less uncomfortable, that is just the way we are made. We tend to move away from things that we perceive as challenging or as some people say are outside their comfort zone. This is where a coach is invaluable and with regular coaching sessions you can really start to accelerate those results; old habits die hard, but you can definitely do it if you are committed.
Right it is time for you to make your plan. I hope you have now have chosen a few actions and have also put a date beside them as to when you are going to carry them out. Remember SMART and as I said previously, read my goal setting page which explains this in more detail.
One more thing; I would also record what results your actions produced so you can start to record the progress you are making from when you first started. When you see progress this will encourage you to take more actions and then you will have momentum to carry on. You will be amazed at what you can actually achieve!
I would recommend you getting your own coach, whether you wish to contact me or choose another coach I would highly recommend it. Remember you can change your current reality and choose what you want to do, you just have to commit, find passion in what you do and have a tenacity to see it through.
So live with passion and I hope you can use this to get the results you want. Please feel free to share this with anyone you think will benefit; live your life to the fullest and be happy doing what you love!