The key around this is always having a mindset to learn.Always being open to learning is always the key. So this week I was on a selection day for a project and I had to coach in front of others, I was nervous and anxious, and that was the whole point. It had been a while since I was assessed in this way but I always think it’s a good thing. I had some great feedback as well as some constructive feedback. The key around this is always having a mindset to learn. I don’t care if you have a ton of experience you can always learn something from others and you need to be open for that. Even Ray Dalio in his book Principles mentions this, though he does make a good point on believability, this is the amount of experience and success a person has had in the area they are providing feedback or providing advice on, I would recommend you check out his book it’s an eye-opener. When you have done enough training your tools will strike at the right momentBeing humble and letting others have the limelight is one of the things that I have looked to embrace before I always thought I needed to be upfront and centre, but that is not the case. I have skills and experience and something that life has taught me is that my skills will come into play as and when I need them. I have confidence that those skills will intuitively kick in as I need them, this is what I call using your intuition! I was watching a Bruce Lee Series on Netflix and this is precisely the advice that Bruce gave when he was teaching! When you have done enough training your tools will strike at the right moment, don’t anticipate the outcome be in the moment. I just love that, and I use this in my coaching I try not to overthink and go with the coachees' agenda I did get some great feedback and I was able to recognise that I had missed a potential root cause Anyway going back to that selection day I did get some great feedback and I was able to recognise that I had missed a potential root cause of an issue, in this case, someone was trying to people, please! The funny thing is, this is what I train too but it had appeared differently in the coach testing role play, so it just shows that you must stay open to learning all the time even though you may have the experience. By just stepping back and letting others take the limelight, there was no need to pushThe day also contained some set group activities so again in this instance, I let others have the limelight and it was incredible to observe that naturally, people would play to their strengths, my role was to be the timekeeper, as I know in many instances that timekeeping is an issue, this also pulls on my training experience that people get involved so much in a conversation that they forget the time! (I’m sure you have done this, I know I have!) So there I was calling out the time when we were halfway through, I had found my role by just stepping back and letting others take the limelight, there was no need to push or force it was a natural selection of roles which felt great in the group. What I did find by speaking less was that when I spoke or had a contribution I was listened to, this to me was a vital observation about not forcing a situation and the power of letting others have the limelight and noting the psychological contracts that are going on in the room. If I get selected then great I move into that space if not, it was not meant to be and in that way, it leads me on a different path So all in all it was a positive experience! If I get selected then great I move into that space if not, it was not meant to be and in that way it leads me on a different path to get where I need to be, plus along the way I have learned valuable lessons. Just remember if you fail you just learn and if you win you continue on that path, you never lose! You either learn or continue on your current path!
So being humble and letting others have the limelight has been a great lesson and it’s something that I will continue to practice to see what happens. Just remember if you get involved in anything let others speak say their piece, once you do this and stand back, you are much more likely to have something valuable to say and also when you speak people will be much more inclined to listen to you. I want this blog to inspire you, so don’t forget to share; until next time keep inspiring!
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September 2021
AuthorJoe Noya, founder of JN Coachingtechnologies. Categories |