When challenges appear we as humans are always looking for the quick fixWhen challenges appear we as humans are always looking for the quick fix, the easiest way out possible. That’s the problem we are sacrificing a quick-term fix for a long term problem. What’s needed is a long term solution which boils down to daily habits! I want it now!Say for instance you have a huge debt,(which will be much more common at the time of writing Christmas 2019!) the daily actions are not to spend on luxuries and everyday coffees, because if you look at the daily purchases over the month and year you will see that they add up! It’s those micropayments which kill the Golden Goose and they are not noticed. The key is to catch it, as you go to buy that daily coffee or buy a spur of the moment muffin/gift, Macdonalds or whatever it is, the key is to think what’s the impact of this in the long term. The problem is that it’s an emotional response, I am hungry or I want that so I want it NOW! Your emotional brain takes over, it’ very powerfulYour emotional brain takes over its very powerful, the key to these things is to be aware when the emotional brain is kicking in before you take action. You need to recognise the feeling, then defer until your more rational brain has a chance to kick in. Because if you’re in huge debt the temptation is to think “well I am in debt anyway I might as well carry on!” Your brain will try and rationalise the purchase because we are intelligent beings and it will use your intelligence against you to get the endorphins rush of the purchase! You need to face up to the responsibility!Wrong you need to face up to the responsibility, take on the responsibility and start to say how can I solve this based on my current circumstances? This is a very powerful question, now if you force your mind to answer these questions you will start to develop solutions. You sit down with the problem, accept the responsibility and start to control your daily habits. Ask yourself what you buy daily, what outgoings can I do without and which can I reduce? Many of the patterns give us an awesome chemical response!Many of the patterns give us awesome chemical responses in the moment, when you purchase you get that good feeling and that’s a very addictive feeling, the issue is when you want to make a change you have got to recognise that, patience and deferring your cravings or desires creates discipline! You defer the feeling and congratulate yourself to resisting the purchase and that will make you proud of yourself to reflect that emotional urge! Discipline with yourself is importantDiscipline with yourself in whatever challenge you are facing is one of the most important traits and habits to cultivate. Remember the decisions you make now will not impact you till month 2 or 3, the debt may not come home to roost for years, but it will. The reason is at some point people are going to want their money so you better face it, take action and reduce the spending. I am not an expert, but there is a Government Agency which can help in the UK. This is the Money Advice Service (Money Advice Service https://www.moneyadviceservice.org.uk/en) which is the UK government. This is the blurb on their website- The Money Advice Service“The Money Advice Service is an independent organisation. Set up by Government to help people make the most of their money, it gives free, unbiased money advice across the UK – online, over the phone and face to face. The Service is paid for by a statutory levy on the financial services industry, raised by the Financial Conduct Authority. Its statutory objectives are to enhance the understanding and knowledge of members of the public about financial matters (including the UK financial system) and to enhance the ability of members of the public to manage their own financial affairs. The Service has an independent Chairman and board appointed by the Financial Conduct Authority. It was formerly the Consumer Financial Education Body.” At this time of year, it is one of the most common times of the year where people are facing crippling debt, the key is to be realistic and face it head-on. I have chosen this subject because it’s one of the most challenging issues today, especially in today’s society where there is so much pressure on every adult to keep up with the person next to them! In 2018 the MAS published a paper with the headline: “A large proportion of people in the UK continue to struggle with debt, with an estimated 8.3 million being over-indebted. Demand for debt advice continues to rise and supply is not keeping up. The findings from our most recent Supply and Need research indicate even higher levels of ‘unmet demand’ for debt advice than before.” Debt is just one patternSo Debt is just one pattern, there are many more patterns such as diet, tidiness etc just to name a few, but recognise that you have the power to change it! You alone have the power to change the tide, and not to put your head in the sand and hope it will go away! Once you take the plunge and decide to make that change you will be so proud of yourself and just in one year, you will see massive progress if you are committed to break the patters and routines that do not serve you. So how do you start? 1-Journalling and accountability partners! For me I have a daily journal, I put all my daily hopes and dreams in that journal for the day. This sets my intention for the day and will help me to follow through. Now I am not perfect and of course I fail and fail a lot, but I get quite a few daily successes, like my daily videos and weekly successes like writing this blog! This keeps me on track because I’m doing this to help you! You are my accountability partner, if I want to be an effective coach then I need to practice what I preach and that’s the point! So start a journal, hold yourself accountable and get others to hold you to account if you don’t follow through. (there is no need to buy one of those expensive journal’s, just get a pad a pen to start) 2 - Set your intention for the day Before I wrote this blog one of my intentions which was headed in my journal was “What would make today great?” I put “To be happy and enjoy the day” This makes me stay in the moment and makes me aware of my state in each moment. If something shocking happens and I feel it, this reminds me to look for the lesson and enjoy the day no matter what happens. If it is something super serious, I look for the lesson and use it to train myself that life does go on and how will this lesson serve me in future. 3 - Record your successes In my journal, I write down what great things happened. Yesterday, for example, I recorded that I showed compassion for someone who was really in emotional turmoil and I was non-judgemental! By doing this it’s reinforcing my daily habits which will compound over time, and over this time I want them to become automatic, so no matter the situation I am calm and can process and become a problem solver or an observer to gain the lesson from any situations! If you just do one of these steps you will be starting to change those patterns and you are on your journey to build the person you want to become. It does take determination and discipline, but with perseverance, you will do it. Just be committed to the cause and know what you are aiming for. |
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September 2021
AuthorJoe Noya, founder of JN Coachingtechnologies. Categories |