As a human being most decisions are made through emotionEmotions run high, emotions run low, but as a human being, we must recognise that most of our decisions are made through emotions. Have you ever had the experience when you go to buy something? You say something like I won’t be able to afford that, but at some level, you have already decided to buy it. That’s your emotions in action. What happens next is that your logic kicks in and then justifies that decision. For instance, when I bought my Mac, it was expensive, but in my mind, I had already bought it and my justification was that I would use it to record music because at the time I was writing music. I also said it would be a family Mac so all the family would use it. That justified the emotional decision it wasn’t a bad one, it was good and even now I’m using that same Mac to write this blog and it’s about five years old and still going strong! It’s all about mindset and beliefs.I suppose what I’m trying to say is that if we know that most of our decisions are driven through emotion how can we ensure as much as possible that most of the time we are on point with our decisions? In my view, this comes down to our mindsets and beliefs! First of all, we have to be aware of what drives us, sometimes we are unaware, so some deep work is needed there. What sort of decisions do you usually make? Is it a reactive decision or do you think it’s a more thoughtful decision? Whichever route you take it would have been driven by your values and beliefs! For example, if one of your highest values is trust and you meet someone who asks to borrow a little bit of money because they have forgotten their wallet/purse and want to get some lunch. They promise to pay you back, but because your highest value is trust you will assess them in a very short space of time whether you trust them or not. Your values will link to your subconscious and you will get a hunch as to whether or not you will give them the money and whether you think based on how they have behaved so far what the probability is that they will give you the money back! Emotional based decisions really can have pitfalls.These emotionally based decisions are a bit of a problem because if you have had some type of trauma you might see the world through that particular lens. Say for instance I had met someone and was a deep relationship and after say three years we break up because that person went off with someone else. Depending on how you take breakups you might now look at the world and say to yourself I will never trust men/women again, depending on what type of relationship you are having. The problem with this type of lens is that when you go to have another relationship, 1 - You may have trouble forming another deep relationship because you got hurt or 2 - You get into a relationship but view it with suspicion all the time because of that previous trauma. This is what we have to be conscious about. The person we have just met may be amazing but because you’re seeing them through that emotional lens you’ve already killed the relationship before it’s even started. Our values and beliefs have a massive impact on our decisions.Something else which drives our emotional decision making is our values and beliefs they form in our early childhood. What were our parents like? What were their values? Did we have parents or people that majorly influenced our lives? What was our school or the authority figures around us like? All these types of things shape our view of the world and the only way to get hold of how we are seeing the world is to examine situations when we have to make important decisions. So I have a few suggestions:1 - When you are faced with a difficult decision you need to think about how you are responding to it emotionally. Where is the driving force for this decision coming from? If it’s coming from the heart then you are most likely on the right lines. But you have to factor in whether you have had any previous experiences which may be distorting the reality of the choice you are about to make. It may be worth writing out any negative feelings and asking the reasons for those feelings, whether you think they are accurate based on the current situation. 2 - When the heart starts pounding, you’re excited and you’re confident that you haven’t had a negative experience before it’s probably because you’re most likely along the right lines about making the right decision for you. Of course, you might ask for other peoples opinion, but this is your choice, you have to make it and have to acknowledge that whatever the results are you are going to have to accept responsibility. Especially if the decision has an element of risk, you’ve got to be able to come to terms with that risk, if you can’t it's probably not the best decision for you. We all see the world differently and that’s okay, it’s part of self-awareness.So there you have it, something to think about. Now you may agree with me and you might not. That’s okay because we all see the world differently and through the lenses, I’ve just talked about. The important thing is that you’re open, you don’t assume and recognise that we do make a decision based on emotions initially. Once we realise this then we can start to harness that power, because we know what’s going on. In that way, you will be much more self-aware, and you will then make better decisions for you.
Emotions are very powerful and if you use them this way it will enhance your chances of success. As I said we make an emotional decision and then back it up with logic, if you’re aware what’s going on then you’re more likely to be able to process the reasons why you are or you’re not hitting your goals. If you enjoyed this blog please share it with other people and don’t forget to comment so other people can benefit. Until next time stay inspired #InspirationNation
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September 2021
AuthorJoe Noya, founder of JN Coachingtechnologies. Categories |