Moaning can be a very powerful thing and we dedicated a whole episode of the Inspiration Nation Podcast to it. The reason is that it feeds into everything, if you keep moaning you are absolving your responsibility and giving over your power to something you have no control over. So let’s think of an example! You moan about your boss and what they are doing; you don’t agree so you keep moaning about it with your colleagues every time you go on a break. Let’s look at this in a bit more detail. First thing is first you are moaning about your boss and you might be totally justified, I am not saying you’re wrong that your boss is doing something wrong, the problem now is, is that you have just given your power away to do anything about it! The second part of this is that you keep moaning; so the first time you express your displeasure regarding your boss, you can call that venting; when you keep going over the same old ground now that’s moaning, and you start to lose your power, because you are giving it away. So you now have no way of changing anything! You have given away your power to respond in a different way, perhaps you could respond in a way that is positive and you could speak to your boss in a constructive manner about the thing you are moaning about. The problem when we moan is that we are presenting from an emotional place, and it feels good to say it’s someone else’s fault, and when you do this you take no responsibility so you are powerless to change anything! The other trap that we fall into (and I have done all this myself) is that our colleagues in this scenario will probably agree with us! So this validates our moaning, and so the cycle continues; it becomes addictive and when it becomes addictive you keep wanting to do it because it feels good. Again the issue with this is that you turn into someone who used to have the power to change a situation, and now you are a person who becomes a victim of the situation with no power to change anything, because now the problem is out there, and you are relying on others to resolve it for you which won’t happen in the way you want it to. The reason for this is that they will not know your exceptions and you have no control over other people! You will also develop a super level skill at moaning! Think about that for a moment; if you keep moaning and keep practicing moaning, and you hang around people who moan, then you will become top level at being a moaner. Now I am not saying the world is perfect, and it’s not; what I am saying is you are giving away your responsibility, you are giving away your power to think of a solution. Of course that’s difficult, and as human being’s our brains default into wanting to find the easiest route through this type of stuff, but in this instance it will not help you. You have to do the difficult thing, and try and come up with a solution to your situation, otherwise you are resigning yourself to a life which will be a life where you absolve total responsibility for where you are. Let’s be honest, we are where we are because of the decisions we make, of course there are events outside our control but ultimately it’s our attitude towards the things that happen to us that counts, so we end up where our actions take us. Phew that was a big one this week and we did talk for a long while on the podcast, I would encourage you to check it out. I also did a little video where I talk about what I moan about, and in this instance I just went out a dealt with the situation! You can see it below. So let’s think of some things we could try to lift us out of a moaning club.
1 - Identify if you are in a moaning club! A good way to do this is to see how often you and the people around you are talking about the same problem on multiple occasions. You can vent because we all need to so that now and then, but moaning is destructive to your self development. 2 - Once you have identified that you are in a moaning club, start to change the course of the conversation and steer it towards what you could I start to do about the situation. Good questions are so powerful and now you are telling your brain to come up with a solution which is much more useful for you and your own development. 3 - Take action and start to see what you can do to change the situation. Be the person who is the problem solver! Depending on the situation, sometimes you need to move away from it depending on the level of the toxicity! So there we have it another week another podcast and another blog, wow! Things are moving fast but in a great way. I am really grateful for all your support and thank you for being a massive part of InspirationNation. Keep spreading the word and let’s make this world an amazing place; remember use the #inspirationnation on any shares you do, and tag me in, it will be great to see this continued growth and the positivity you are bringing to the world. Keep strong #InspirationNation
0 Comments
|
Archives
September 2021
AuthorJoe Noya, founder of JN Coachingtechnologies. Categories |