Are we truly listening when we are with people? I know myself that I can drift into my own thought patterns, that’s why we all have to train ourselves to focus on the other person when we listen. This is what this week’s Inspiration Nation Podcast was all about; we are now up to episode 19! We covered so much in the podcast about how listening impacts so many parts of our lives, but now I have had time to reflect I just want to add a bit more to this subject which for me is a limitless topic of conversation. As we said in the podcast, people may actually think that they listen well, of course this is all down to our own perception, and the only way to truly know whether we are listening well is to know whether we are in sync with the person we are listening to and we get feedback from them to confirm any pre-conceptions. We have to focus on them, and observe not only what they say but what their body language is saying. We talked about mirroring in the podcast and this means that you naturally mirror each other’s movements once you are in rapport. If you are in rapport you will know because the conversation will just flow, and if you are conscious enough within the conversation you will totally pick up on it. I know when I am in flow with someone (to me flow means, I am in total rapport) I get a feeling in my body which makes my hairs stand up ( no, not because of fear) this is because I feel we have connected, and that whatever we are talking about has connected at a really deep level! I also get this when I feel we are both making progress in the conversation i.e. me listening to them and responding at the right times, when it feels right. At this point there is no, “I have got to speak now scenario” or forced conversation, it just flows. It’s like you are having a conversational dance, and you are both totally in the flow and finding answers to the challenges this person may have. Or it may be that you are both really passionate about a subject and you are just creating just super amazing ideas which inspires you both! Did you ever think that listening could be so powerful! People think they listen, and if you listened to the podcast I did a little exercise; if you haven’t listened, go and do that after you have finished reading this blog! Even that exercise in my view was very limited because it is just relying on our sense of hearing. I was reading out a paragraph and you weren’t really able to pick up any signs of my body language because it was all quite logical! To get into really deep listening you have got to watch body language, but you have also got to pick up on energy levels and how they are as a whole person. Energy levels are a really good indicator of where people are, and if you are sensitive enough to pick this up this will make you a super awesome listener. The reason for this, is not so much what is said, but what their energy is telling you; you can get clues from the tone of their voice and also the postures that someone does as they are talking. But you can be fooled by this, as someone could try and put massive energy into being expressive and it looks like that they are in a good space, but if you pick up on the almost falseness of that all through their energy, (because at some point you will see and feel it drop, but only for a micro second) you will be able to ask deeper questions to get underneath it all. The person you are listening too will be really appreciative because you have been able to see through their mask, if of course you have been able to create a safe enough space for them. So how do we do all this I hear you ask? Well you just have to practice listening to people, you need to practice tuning out of your own thoughts when you are with other people, which is a massive challenge as we all have those thoughts. As we know there is a lot to I thinking that goes on in our minds! But get that practice in as much as you can and observe all the signs as I have said within this blog; if you keep doing that, your levels of listening power will increase! Now there is no limit to how good a listener you are, I feel there are infinite levels,, so don’t ever think you’ve cracked it! You may be good, but there is always more to learn and if you keep that frame of mind you will be awesome. So let me know how you get on! Don’t forget to listen to the podcast; (click here to go there) we are also on YouTube now so there is no excuse to not tune in. Remember to subscribe to both the Podcast and the Channel, on the channel hit the bell so you are notified when we release another video! Click here to go straight to the channel. Below is the latest podcast video that we have added! You can also ask questions which we can address in the podcast, or send me an e-mail, details of which are here on the website. Keep being awesome and we appreciate you as being a very important part of Inspiration Nation. Keep being INSPIRED! #InspirationNation
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September 2021
AuthorJoe Noya, founder of JN Coachingtechnologies. Categories |